My Story – Growing by Surprises

If you are wondering how I chose the name for my site, here is the explanation…

Everyone has a story. Mine is about surprises. I am a planner by nature, a type-A personality that loves predictability, checklists, and organization. Spontaneity and going with the flow are not my strengths. So if I got to choose my own life path it would be perfectly planned and orchestrated from beginning to end, with NO surprises! But God loves to use our weaknesses to show His strengths, so my story has been filled with a variety of surprises, both good and bad.  These events have shaped my character, my beliefs, and my faith. In a nutshell, here are just a few of the surprises that have pruned me, strengthened me, and shaped me along the way.

Surprise, you can’t bear children! When my husband and I decided to start a family, we never expected we would have any difficulty. The struggle of infertility brought me years of tears, anxiety, and shame. We tried various fertility treatments all in vain, and this journey of pain, humiliation, and quiet desperation led me to finally seek the Lord in ways I never had before. I leaned into Him for strength and wisdom and began to start asking Him to guide my path. I began to slowly let go of my own plan.

Surprise, here’s a child just for you!…and another…and another! The story of how three children came into our lives is a long and beautiful one. Some day, I’ll write a detailed version and post it here. In short, God first brought an adorable red-headed 21-month-old into our life and we adopted him. Then, about 2 years later, the mother of that same child had another baby, and we brought that 4-day-old baby boy home from the hospital. Finally, that same mother had another little girl. I’ll never forget my husband calling me and saying, “Jennifer, get ready. I’m bringing home a little 7-month-old girl. I’ll be home in 3 hours.” So over the course of about 3 years, we adopted these 3 siblings. Each time, we had less and less warning and time for preparation, but God always provided and equipped us to adapt to each situation. God showed me that He is the ultimate planner, so I don’t have to be. He had chosen these 3 children for our family before I ever did the first fertility treatment. I learned I could trust Him to guide my path; I just had to be willing to follow.

Surprise, your house is on fire! Not long after we welcomed the third child into our home, we were awakened in the middle of the night to our house in a blaze. We were all able to escape the fire just in time, but it was a devastating loss. God taught me two main things during this time. First, you don’t need all that stuff! It’s amazing what you can do without. More importantly, I learned how to ask for help. During this time of our life, so many other things happened as well and I came to a place where I could not function without the help of others. I learned how to admit that I can’t do it all, to rely on others, and to truly accept God’s provision and all the beautiful ways He wants to give it. 

Surprise, your children have 15q24microdeletion! What? I know it sounds weird. I hadn’t heard of it either and most doctors haven’t also. When we adopted our children, we had no idea that 2 of them had this rare genetic deletion. But as they grew into the toddler years, we discovered they had delays in a variety of areas. They both struggled to meet the major milestones in their growth. Our daughter, age 12 now, is several grade levels behind, struggles to read, has lots of speech difficulties, and is a very slow processor. Our son, age 13, functions at about a 3-year-old level, and he especially struggles with communication. In all honesty, I was not born as the most nurturing, compassionate, or patient person. But that’s where God can do His biggest miracles. He has taught me so much, softened me, and equipped me beyond what could ever be imagined. It is only by the grace of God and His strength in me that I am able to homeschool these 2 special needs kids. [By the way, I homeschooled our other son, age 16 now, during grades 3 to 8. He is currently doing great at a private Christian school.]

In addition to these big surprises, my daily life is full of constant twists and turns–from the frequent spontaneous ideas of my husband to the joys of home schooling in the country with 16 chickens, 2 parakeets, and a hamster, I never know what to expect from day to day. But God shows me each day how He will comfort and guide me, if I will just abide in Him and take it one day at a time as I continue Growing by Surprise.