Tag: joy

What are we infecting people with?

Contagious, exposure, infect, spread…These words flood the news and social media, stirring up negative images in our minds and causing panic in society. But what if we turned this upside down and used these words in a positive light? What about all the good things that are contagious and can be spread through exposure?

Joy is contagious. Passion is easily spread. And a true appreciation for something can be developed simply through the right type of exposure.

It is amazing how much enthusiasm is contagious. When we are surrounded by someone who is passionate about a certain topic it, that excitement can easily infect us. A woman who is giddy about sharing her latest discovery during her personal Bible study time tends to ignite a desire in me to study God’s Word too. A friend who joyously serves others, even in the midst of personal trials, infects me with a passion for service as well.

What are we spreading in our homes and communities–joy, hope, and peace? Are we infecting people with a desire to study God’s Word and pray with conviction? Is our passion for knowing and following Jesus so bold that it’s contagious? Are we exposing people to such deep love that they are asking us where we caught our “bug?”

This morning I sat in my car listening to my teenage son share his knowledge and passion for cars. He pointed out a specific type of car (one I had never heard of) and noticed that the sound of the engine could still be heard even after the car was way past us. He mentioned that this car was one that many people would look at and think it is just ugly, not much of a car. But if you really knew about it, you would know how valuable this car was. True car enthusiasts desire this car and pay big money for it!

Everywhere we go my son will point out cars and tell me interesting factoids about them. I’ve never really noticed cars much before; usually my mind is filled with lots of other things while I’m driving. But since he has started sharing his love and appreciation for cars with me, I have started noticing them a little more than before. I will probably never develop his level of passion for cars, but he has helped me see cars in a new way.

It is like this in our relationships too. Sometimes others may not see God in their lives. They may be unaware of the vast ways He cares for them and provides for them. But when we are passionate about pointing to Him in all things, highlighting His glory, wisdom, and love in everything we see, the people around us will catch this enthusiasm. We should be exposing everyone we meet with the knowledge of Jesus, spreading the infection far and wide.

If we are going to spread our faith and share our love of God, we can’t quarantine ourselves away, separating ourselves from others. We can’t hide behind masks. We must be close and intimate with others. [And yes, I mean this figuratively, not literally.] We must take the time to learn about people, hear their stories, and understand where they come from. We must look deeper than just the appearance and characteristics that can be readily seen, and open our hearts and eyes to see more. True appreciation can only come when we force ourselves to stop and really see people. I encourage us all to take the time to notice the people around us and think more deeply about how we might connect more intimately with the people who God places in our paths.

Right now it’s easy to be hyper-focused on keeping our germs from others and not spreading COVID. But maybe instead, we can focus our hearts and minds on making our peace contagious, infecting people with faith in our Lord, and spreading love and joy to everyone we meet.

Your Biggest Fan!

How a special needs baseball game opened my eyes to God’s view of me and others!

My son just started playing Miracle League baseball. Last weekend I watched his game and was filled with delight. The smile on his face as he batted and ran the bases was contagious. The other players were just as enjoyable to watch–so much enthusiasm and pure joy.

The players were a very diverse group of kids, ranging in ages from about 5 to 20 and having various physical and mental challenges. Some had amazing hits and seemed like they had been playing for years. Others could barely swing a bat. Some were able to run the bases unassisted, while others were in wheelchairs or needed guidance even to know where to go. But no matter what the skill of the player, all the spectators cheered loudly for each and every player. Every single time a player’s bat made contact with the ball, the crowd yelled in excitement. The cheering had nothing to do with the result of the hit; it was simply a way to encourage each player. Nobody criticized a player or told him how he needed to do something differently. No one was frustrated by a player who had to try ten times to hit the ball. There was no competition or division. (We didn’t even keep score.) A single mission unified the group of people who gathered at the field that day–to love and support those players as they did their very best to play baseball!

May be an image of 1 person, standing and text that says 'HOMER'

As my family and I watched and enjoyed this beautiful scene, my dad leaned over and said, “This is how God sees us.” Such true wisdom. God is not sitting on a throne in judgment, thinking about how we need to do things differently. He is not comparing us to others, thinking that we need to be like that other person over there. He is not expecting us to achieve a certain outcome.

God is simply delighted in us and is cheering for us. He is hopeful and encouraging. He is our biggest fan. God knows well our “disabilities,” and He is excited by our achievements, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. He knows how big they really are.

I think each one of us has moments or areas in our lives where we feel “disabled,” when we feel like we just can’t seem to achieve a result, master a skill, or conquer a problem. Often our best effort seems so far from success that we struggle to see any reason to cheer. We feel like that player who has just struck out. 

We’re not only hard on ourselves but also hard on other people as well. We get frustrated with friends and family members who keep making the same mistakes. We become irritated because our expectations go unmet. And we kick people out of our lives and off our team simply because their “disability” is making our lives harder or keeping us from achieving a certain result.

In short, often we treat each other as if we are all professional major league baseball players who should be perfect. In reality, we are all players with various disabilities simply trying to make it through the next inning. If only we could see each other and ourselves how God sees us. 

Friends, take a moment to imagine the scene I described at the Miracle League baseball game. Try to feel the warmth of camaraderie and encouragement and breathe in the air of complete joy. At the same time, push out of your mind the stress and frustration that comes with competition and expectations. Find a way to harness this feeling and live life in this beautiful place of unity, peace, and delight. Give yourself a break and applaud the efforts you are making, even if you’re not “hitting it out of the ballpark.” Give others a break as well, recognizing that they may be trying to overcome “disabilities” that you don’t even know exist in their lives.

Above all, recognize God’s complete love and delight in you. He knows you well and is never surprised by your achievements or failures. He sees you just as you are and cherishes you. Each time you “get up to bat,” He has a big smile on his face and is cheering for you. Keep this vision of God in your head and allow yourself to bask in the warmth of God’s love. He is your biggest fan! 

Unburdened and Unstressed

It has been one month since I wrote my last post. Life has just been busy, nothing tragic, no huge life changes…simply a variety of unexpected events that have managed to turn my world topsy turvy for the last few weeks. Each week, as I looked at my To-Do list, I stared at the item that said, “write a blog post,” and my heart started beating fast. I was filled with guilt because I was not meeting an expectation I had created. I was overcome with anxiety because I didn’t know what to write. I was overwhelmed because I had no idea when or how I was going to get it done. There was simply too much to do and not enough time to do it. Here I was looking at what I considered a God-inspired mission, and I was feeling stressed about it.

Have you ever experienced a time like this, when you were burdened and anxious regarding something you knew should be quite the opposite?

Then I stopped! This is NOT what God has in mind for me (and it’s not what God has in mind for you either)! Our Lord is not a strict taskmaster. He does not desire for us to be anxious, overwhelmed, worried, or filled with shame. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. So one of two things is likely true in my situation if I feel those negative emotions–either what I am doing is NOT God’s will or how I am doing it isn’t.

I had to make myself pause in reflection and prayer and seek God’s direction…and I had to keep doing this multiple times throughout this month. What He kept whispering to me was, “Jennifer, give yourself a break.” For me, I believe it was the how that was the problem. I still felt God wanted me to continue doing this blog, but He kept reminding me that it is okay to take a break from it. It is okay to focus on other things at times. God wanted me to relax and enjoy and write when I was able. Over the last month, often after spending time with God, I would feel much better. I would lay this burden down at His feet and generally conclude that it was okay to postpone writing a post. In fact, He kept putting it on my heart that what He really wanted me to write about was just this–that we ALL need to give ourselves a break. Unfortunately, sometimes only days later, I would pick that burden right back up and start stressing again. 

Years ago, in the book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, I read an illustration that compared this to putting rocks in our wagon. [Please forgive me if I am not exact here. I don’t have the book to quote or reread, so I am going by memory.] Often we put rocks in our wagon that God has never asked us to carry. We weigh ourselves down in ways He never intended.

It is so much easier to see this when I am looking at someone else’s life. I am much better at helping others take the figurative “rocks” out of their wagons than I am at discarding the unnecessary ones out of my own wagon. Here’s an example from this last month…

A friend (and a fellow unit leader with me in American Heritage Girls) texted and said that she might not be able to make it to our next meeting. She was not feeling well yet was worried that she would be leaving me in a bind if she was not there. Here is the exact text I sent her on February 28:

“So sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. No stressing about any of the AHG stuff. God has been really speaking to me, reminding me that He doesn’t want us overwhelmed or anxious in our service. Yes, He wants us to work and serve. But He also wants us to rest. So I’m making sure I am not letting Satan steal the joy of my service by making me stressed about it. So you just focus on feeling better!”

Friends, how is it that it was so easy to write that text to her, and yet I still struggled to apply it to my situation with writing this blog post? I WAS letting Satan steal my joy in doing this blog. I was turning something God meant for good into an undesirable chore.

I am certain you have similar things in your own life. We all have service, missions, and callings that occasionally become just glaring items on a To-Do list. We all sometimes become burdened by things that God only intended to bless us. We all, at some point, lose focus and allow ourselves to stress or worry over something that isn’t worth it.

Here is the main message that God has been giving me, and I want to pass it on to you…

God wants you rested, joyful, unburdened, and worry-free. (Maybe that won’t be true in every moment of life, but it should be true in general.) His desires and plans for you are good and pleasing. So if you find yourself feeling anything else, take a moment to seek Him. Ask Him to show you a better way. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself a break. And definitely look in your wagon and throw out some “rocks” that are weighing you down that you know God didn’t plan for you to carry.

Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT)

My prayer for you today is that you experience the unburdened joy that comes when you truly rest in Jesus!

Why Can’t I Have Your Life?

Do you suffer from life envy? Sometimes I do. This morning I browsed my Facebook news feed and instantly started feeling depressed. I saw posts of everyone’s “perfect” life and thought, “Why can’t I have your life?”

One woman shared beautiful photos and a description of their family’s advent tradition. I thought, “Yeah, well, try that at my home. One kid would be fighting over who got to light the candle and another would be fussing about having to sit and listen to an advent devotional.”

Another woman posted photos of her perfectly decorated mantel. It looked like something out of a magazine. I scanned my living room with toys strewn around, stockings lying on the floor because we have no mantel, and a variety of mismatched decorative Christmas items placed here and there. I promise you, the only way photos of my house will be in a magazine is if someone wants to show examples of homes that need decorating makeovers.

As I scrolled down, I saw a post about a family who was beginning their Christmas break already, two weeks before we will start ours. I could feel my face scowl a little as I thought, “We are so behind and my kids need so much help, there’s no way I can take a break.” Her declaration reminded me how overwhelmed I feel by my children’s learning disabilities and my heart sank a little thinking of everything I need to teach them.

Then I came to a photo of a woman standing in a beautiful house with a glorious Christmas tree. Her kids smiled and looked as if they were dancing joyfully as they trimmed the tree. My mind flashed to the terrible scene at our house just a week ago when our family attempted to decorate our Christmas tree. I won’t go into the details but it ended with one person crying, another person angry, and the tree was only half decorated. It certainly was not the joyous scene I saw on that Facebook post.

Can anyone relate? Do any of you peek into another person’s life and wonder why you can’t experience that same thing in your own life? I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but I can’t seem to help myself. And it steals my joy every time.

So what do I do? How do I move forward today when my head is already filled with such negative thoughts suggesting my own life is not as desirable, enjoyable, valuable, or maybe even as spiritual as another’s?

First, I shift my perspective and try to view all of this from the point-of-view of those other women. If I shared my thoughts with each of those women, what would they say to me? I imagine them shaking their heads, gently smiling at me, convincing me that their lives are not as wonderful as they might appear, and maybe even suggesting they sometimes envy my life. I recognize that the snapshots of people’s lives we often see are not their whole story. Everyone has messy moments, undesirable circumstances, and parts of their lives they would rather people not see. We all know, “we can’t judge a book by its cover.” Well, we can’t discern the reality of a person’s life merely by a Facebook post or even what we see in simple daily interactions. People’s lives are much more complicated. So I remind myself that the life I’m envying at the moment certainly also has it’s own share of hardships and flaws too. Nobody’s life is perfect.

Then, I remind myself of some of the beautiful things in my own life. Thankfulness is key to contentment and joy. I must be honest about the great parts of my life and purposefully notice the specific ways God has blessed me. I may not have a huge house, but I don’t have a house payment either. I may not have a fireplace with a mantel, but that just saves me from another household chore of cleaning out that fireplace. Maybe we aren’t taking a break from school at the moment, but I am very fortunate to be able to homeschool our children and have the flexibility many others don’t have. Our family isn’t doing an advent devotional this year, but the delight my kids show when they see Buddy Elf (and Cindy, his elf sister) doing various funny things around the house is precious. Our Christmas tree decorating night didn’t go well the first time, but our family reconciled, forgave, and tried again a few days later. (A spirit of forgiveness is worth more than gold!) We had a great time the second time around, and our tree is filled with ornaments of sweet memories. The joy of Christmas is still alive in our home, though it may reveal itself in unique ways. As I continue filling my thoughts with gratitude, the jealousy fades and is replaced with joy.

Finally, I center my thoughts on Jesus and His desires for me. When I assess my life, I must see it through His eyes, not the world’s. I must push aside all my preconceived notions of what is perfect, beautiful, and worthy, and seek only His will. When He looks at my life, what does He see? If I view my life as a movie or photo being critiqued by others, needing to be perfectly edited, staged, or cropped in order to be considered worthy, I will quickly lose focus, become distraught, and miss the Lord’s sweet gifts to me. I must live for an audience of one, only concerned with God’s perspective.

So as I begin my day, I let all those images of other people’s “perfect” lives drift out of my head. Instead, I allow God to whisper encouragement to me. He sees each moment of my life, from the chaos to the calm. He is there in the trials. He is there in the joy. He reminds me I am uniquely suited for my particular life, and my life is perfectly designed just for me.

Why can’t I have your life? Because God is good and your life wouldn’t be perfect for me! Now I am ready to cherish the craziness, delight in the mess, overlook the imperfections, and embrace whatever the day throws at me. After all, it is the beautiful life God has given only me, and no other. Why would I desire anything else?

A Little Progress Makes a Big Difference

Sometimes I look back at my year and wonder what I have accomplished. What did I teach my children? Am I challenging them the way I should? Am I meeting their needs? I see all the other homeschool kids their age doing amazing things–winning sports recognitions, performing in the local theater, skipping grade levels–and my kids are just struggling to read and write and still can’t ride a bike.

You see, with their rare genetic condition, my 2 youngest are so delayed in all areas that learning even simple things is a struggle. When you have kids that just can’t seem to keep up, it is easy to get discouraged and doubt yourself. Sometimes it feels like we are moving and moving but never getting anywhere. When we are in that season, it is hard to keep my resolve and be motivated to continue in this homeschool journey. The Enemy uses these slow seasons to attack my will, confuse my vision, and squash my enthusiasm.

So what do I do to combat this? How do I keep moving forward even when it feels pointless? I try to look for those small moments of progress. I force myself to pay attention to the little things, and God always delights me with something beautiful.

My son, James, has severe communication difficulties, still struggling at the age of 13 to even speak in sentences or be understood by anyone not very familiar with his special language. We work every day on speech therapy, and many days I see no change. But then it will happen. I remember one day noticing how he used a pronoun for the first time, saying “yours mommy,” as we discussed going to visit my mom later that day. I remember the first time James expressed that he was scared about something. Never before had he been able to communicate emotion to me. I was so excited he could tell me his feelings I almost forgot to deal with his fear in the situation. I try to listen for these moments when James will say something new and that is when God ministers to my heart and says, “Keep going, my sweet daughter. You’re doing a good job. Just keep being faithful and I will work the miracle.”

Mark Twain said, “Comparison is the death of joy.” Isn’t that the truth! The only way I can keep my joy in this difficult journey is by keeping my eyes only on Christ, never comparing myself, my kids, or my life to others, but rather focusing on the path God has designed for us. Instead of looking at what is not happening or what my kids can’t do, I must be consistently seeking to find the little moments of progress and make those become big reasons to celebrate. Only then can I experience the joy God intends for me to have as I help my kids grow one moment at a time.

False Joy

Thoughts as I read from Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and How God Calls Us to More by Sharon Hodde Miller (pg 41)…

“The thing that unmasks our joy and reveals its true quality is the hammering power of a storm…”

As I read this section, at first my chest puffed a bit with a little bit of pride–Hey, go me! I don’t demonstrate false joy! [The book gave a list of ways we might display false joy.] “Ever-cheerful face”–that’s not me. I actually let people see my sadness sometimes. Joy being dependent on our income–nope. I think I still am joyful even when we don’t have much money, because face it, we never have much money! Joy being dependent on our health–that’s not me. I’ve had skin cancer, endometriosis and ovarian cysts, terrible back pains, a hysterectomy at 38 and that didn’t steal my joy. I’m looking pretty good so far. Then I read that next sentence…”Storms expose exactly what our joy is standing on.”

I stopped and pondered this statement. I asked myself, “What causes my joy to crumble?”, and then God slapped me in the face with it. I could see exactly what my joy was standing on (and it wasn’t the solid rock of Jesus). You see, my joy is standing on very unstable ground–the daily feedback I get from my immediate family, especially my husband and oldest son. Nothing can steal my joy quicker than one of them expressing anger or disappointment in me. I can have a busy, hard, and exhausting day, filled with chaos and messiness and still be peaceful and joyful at the end of it. But a negative word from one of my family, and it’s all over. Until today, I never realized how much I allowed my family’s opinion of me to dictate my own feelings. And that realization shook me and humbled me. 

“True joy is attractive and influential, not because of our stiff upper lip but because the fruit of the Spirit can flourish in any climate, sunshine or rain!”  If my joy can be shaken so easily by a few unkind words from a hormonal teenager or a sleep-deprived husband, then what kind of joy is it really? As I’m continuing through this book and looking deeper at my “niceness”, I’m realizing that the whole point is in identifying the source and motivation of our beautiful qualities. Abiding in Jesus, getting my self-worth from God’s view of me, asking the Holy Spirit to guide every word and action, and getting strength from God’s power rather than my own abilities–that’s really what this is about. If I’m doing these things, the rest will fall into place.

My sister reminded me today, God wants us to bring our fish and loaves to him, as meager as they may be, and let Him work a miracle with it. May I always remember this truth…he doesn’t want me to offer them to the world but rather to Him. If I’m keeping that in mind, that everything I do is offered to God first and then to people, then the fruit that’s produced will never be false fruit. It will always be beautiful and genuine and life-giving.