Growing in Faith – Growing By Surprise

The Peace That Surpasses All

I walked into church tonight with my body tense from anxiety. For weeks now, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and stressed…and for no good reason. Even though my mind knows I have nothing to fear and no reason for worry, my body seems to be in a constant state of panic. It’s amazing how we can know something in our heads and yet still struggle to let the idea take up residence in our hearts. Our actions sometimes are slow to respond to what our mind believes.

This has definitely been the case with me recently. I firmly believe…

God will equip me for everything He asks of me
Worrying is never helpful and God desires for us to trust Him with our needs
I am the Lord’s daughter, chosen, and beloved, and He delights in me even when I fail
His grace is sufficient for me!

I have no doubt that these statements are true. Yet I can’t always seem to get my heart to fully embrace these concepts and live like I believe them.

Today my sister reminded me that sometimes we have to do something more tangible to get ourselves to fully recognize what our head already knows. She suggested I say aloud some of these things so I could actually hear the words and experience them with my senses.

I did that, and it was amazing how much it helped. I went out on my porch and felt the cool breeze on my skin. I said a few of these reminders out loud and then I prayed audibly and fervently to the Lord to help me feel in my spirit His truth and wisdom. Clearly, if someone had walked up to my house at this moment, they might have thought I was a little crazy, visibly alone and yet talking out loud on my porch. But I didn’t care. It was exactly what I needed to do.

I believe God designed us to learn through our senses. We need reminders, rituals, ceremonies, celebrations, visual cues, and other tangible ways to experience and understand all He wants to teach us. So this verbal acknowledgement helped me internalize and feel what I already knew.

Unfortunately, I can’t say I was immediately free from all my anxiety. Like pesky lint that just won’t rub off, a few pieces of fear and worry held on tightly, no doubt attempts from Satan to steal my joy and rob me of peace. And to make matters worse, right before church, a situation arose with my oldest son that caused some extra tension. So when I walked into the church building tonight, I was still wrestling a bit with finding that “peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).” This promise from a scripture I have recited for years was in my head but still it felt just beyond my grasp.

Then we had a time of worship, and God so pointedly touched my heart while I sang the beautiful song “Lord, I Need You” by Matt Maher.

Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here, I find my rest
Without You, I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour, I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

As I sang this song, God filled my heart with such peace and joy. Admitting to the Lord that I need Him was so powerful, a beautiful reminder that I will find my rest only in Him, not in any other person or thing. As I professed to the Lord my dependence on Him, an image permeated my thoughts–a vision of me writing my worries on a paper, naming them, confessing them, and then handing that paper over to the Lord, literally placing it all in His hands.

When I got home tonight, I did this very thing. I quickly wrote out all the woes and responsibilities I had snatched from God and taken on as my own. Those things that swirled in my head but was afraid to actually say aloud, the fears I didn’t want to admit I had–I wrote those down too. Then I prayed and submitted all my fears and worries into my precious Savior’s hands. I folded the paper up and put it in my Bible on the page with the scripture of Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of god, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (NIV).”

On the one hand it seems like a silly ritual a child might do. On the other hand, this was an act of faith and a symbolic gesture that helped my heart and my mind connect.

I write all these things for two reasons. One, I want you to know that everyone struggles at times with worry and fear. There wouldn’t be so many scriptures about it otherwise! Even a person like me, who tends to seem all put together on the outside, has moments when I just can’t shake my doubts and live out my faith the way I know I should.

The second point is the most important…There is hope. Though you may occasionally journey into the land of anxiety, you don’t have to live there permanently. Trust God with your heart. Cast your cares on Him. Pray. Take time to acknowledge your fears and then lay them at the Lord’s feet.

“May the God of Hope fill you with all Joy and Peace as you trust in Him.” ~Romans 15:13

What are we infecting people with?

Contagious, exposure, infect, spread…These words flood the news and social media, stirring up negative images in our minds and causing panic in society. But what if we turned this upside down and used these words in a positive light? What about all the good things that are contagious and can be spread through exposure?

Joy is contagious. Passion is easily spread. And a true appreciation for something can be developed simply through the right type of exposure.

It is amazing how much enthusiasm is contagious. When we are surrounded by someone who is passionate about a certain topic it, that excitement can easily infect us. A woman who is giddy about sharing her latest discovery during her personal Bible study time tends to ignite a desire in me to study God’s Word too. A friend who joyously serves others, even in the midst of personal trials, infects me with a passion for service as well.

What are we spreading in our homes and communities–joy, hope, and peace? Are we infecting people with a desire to study God’s Word and pray with conviction? Is our passion for knowing and following Jesus so bold that it’s contagious? Are we exposing people to such deep love that they are asking us where we caught our “bug?”

This morning I sat in my car listening to my teenage son share his knowledge and passion for cars. He pointed out a specific type of car (one I had never heard of) and noticed that the sound of the engine could still be heard even after the car was way past us. He mentioned that this car was one that many people would look at and think it is just ugly, not much of a car. But if you really knew about it, you would know how valuable this car was. True car enthusiasts desire this car and pay big money for it!

Everywhere we go my son will point out cars and tell me interesting factoids about them. I’ve never really noticed cars much before; usually my mind is filled with lots of other things while I’m driving. But since he has started sharing his love and appreciation for cars with me, I have started noticing them a little more than before. I will probably never develop his level of passion for cars, but he has helped me see cars in a new way.

It is like this in our relationships too. Sometimes others may not see God in their lives. They may be unaware of the vast ways He cares for them and provides for them. But when we are passionate about pointing to Him in all things, highlighting His glory, wisdom, and love in everything we see, the people around us will catch this enthusiasm. We should be exposing everyone we meet with the knowledge of Jesus, spreading the infection far and wide.

If we are going to spread our faith and share our love of God, we can’t quarantine ourselves away, separating ourselves from others. We can’t hide behind masks. We must be close and intimate with others. [And yes, I mean this figuratively, not literally.] We must take the time to learn about people, hear their stories, and understand where they come from. We must look deeper than just the appearance and characteristics that can be readily seen, and open our hearts and eyes to see more. True appreciation can only come when we force ourselves to stop and really see people. I encourage us all to take the time to notice the people around us and think more deeply about how we might connect more intimately with the people who God places in our paths.

Right now it’s easy to be hyper-focused on keeping our germs from others and not spreading COVID. But maybe instead, we can focus our hearts and minds on making our peace contagious, infecting people with faith in our Lord, and spreading love and joy to everyone we meet.

Before You Move…Be Still

Do you ever feel stuck, trapped in your current environment?

When we are in the midst of challenging circumstances, it’s easy to be discontent, depressed, even miserable. Sometimes our situation can feel so unbearable we imagine we must be in the wrong place. How could living in God’s will be this painful?

We need relief and imagine it will only come if we move out of our present situation–quit a job, break up a relationship, join a different church, relocate to another city…

I’ve been there. I have been so desperate for change that I almost couldn’t breathe, like the air in my surroundings was sucking the life out of me. I’d cry out, “I can’t deal with this any longer!”

During one such moment, I remember making a bold decision that would have drastically changed my circumstances. After talking it over with some friends, I was determined to move forward with my action plan. However, as I drove home that evening, I kept hearing a voice in my head, emploring me to spend 100 days in prayer before taking any steps. Ugh! I did not want to wait. I needed relief NOW!

I had been praying over this decision for months, years. I had looked for God’s guidance in the pages of Scripture and had sought wise counsel from several Christian friends. I felt as though I had been patient, waiting for the Lord to show me what to do…and He had given me my answer…or had He?

Had I heard from the Lord or had I decided I was tired of waiting for him to relieve my frustrations?

“100 days of prayer” echoed in my mind, and I couldn’t push it away. I don’t know where that number came from; I don’t believe there’s anything special about the exact number. But I am convinced the Holy Spirit was speaking to me powerfully in my desperation, helping me recognize the importance of being still before the Lord long enough to discern his voice. So I vowed to do just that–put off taking any further action and simply lay this decision before the Lord for one hundred days.

Ladies, it did not take one hundred days for God to very clearly tell me, “No!” and show me a different path he wanted me to take. Almost immediately and daily, the Lord spoke to me in various ways–through the Bible study book I was already reading, songs on the radio, texts from friends, scriptures “magically” appearing on Facebook posts, and sermons that seemed to be written just for me. I heard from the Lord repeatedly and obviously that I should not move forward and simply wait on Him.

So I waited. Relief did not come immediately, but overwhelming peace did. My environment didn’t change much, but I did. As I waited on the Lord and trusted He would bless my obedience, I found ways to persevere, overcome, and see with a new perspective. Slowly my circumstances improved, and God brought healing, comfort, and relief to my situation.

Exodus 14:14 says, “The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.”

If you are anxious to move, determined to step forward on a path, I encourage you to stop for a moment (or one hundred days) to be still. Let all the bustling of life fade to the background. Block out distractions. Stop moving so you can see where and how God is already acting in your life.

Listen. Wait. Watch.

I promise–the Lord will fight for you! Be still so you don’t miss it!

Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

Your Biggest Fan!

How a special needs baseball game opened my eyes to God’s view of me and others!

My son just started playing Miracle League baseball. Last weekend I watched his game and was filled with delight. The smile on his face as he batted and ran the bases was contagious. The other players were just as enjoyable to watch–so much enthusiasm and pure joy.

The players were a very diverse group of kids, ranging in ages from about 5 to 20 and having various physical and mental challenges. Some had amazing hits and seemed like they had been playing for years. Others could barely swing a bat. Some were able to run the bases unassisted, while others were in wheelchairs or needed guidance even to know where to go. But no matter what the skill of the player, all the spectators cheered loudly for each and every player. Every single time a player’s bat made contact with the ball, the crowd yelled in excitement. The cheering had nothing to do with the result of the hit; it was simply a way to encourage each player. Nobody criticized a player or told him how he needed to do something differently. No one was frustrated by a player who had to try ten times to hit the ball. There was no competition or division. (We didn’t even keep score.) A single mission unified the group of people who gathered at the field that day–to love and support those players as they did their very best to play baseball!

May be an image of 1 person, standing and text that says 'HOMER'

As my family and I watched and enjoyed this beautiful scene, my dad leaned over and said, “This is how God sees us.” Such true wisdom. God is not sitting on a throne in judgment, thinking about how we need to do things differently. He is not comparing us to others, thinking that we need to be like that other person over there. He is not expecting us to achieve a certain outcome.

God is simply delighted in us and is cheering for us. He is hopeful and encouraging. He is our biggest fan. God knows well our “disabilities,” and He is excited by our achievements, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. He knows how big they really are.

I think each one of us has moments or areas in our lives where we feel “disabled,” when we feel like we just can’t seem to achieve a result, master a skill, or conquer a problem. Often our best effort seems so far from success that we struggle to see any reason to cheer. We feel like that player who has just struck out.

We’re not only hard on ourselves but also hard on other people as well. We get frustrated with friends and family members who keep making the same mistakes. We become irritated because our expectations go unmet. And we kick people out of our lives and off our team simply because their “disability” is making our lives harder or keeping us from achieving a certain result.

In short, often we treat each other as if we are all professional major league baseball players who should be perfect. In reality, we are all players with various disabilities simply trying to make it through the next inning. If only we could see each other and ourselves how God sees us.

Friends, take a moment to imagine the scene I described at the Miracle League baseball game. Try to feel the warmth of camaraderie and encouragement and breathe in the air of complete joy. At the same time, push out of your mind the stress and frustration that comes with competition and expectations. Find a way to harness this feeling and live life in this beautiful place of unity, peace, and delight. Give yourself a break and applaud the efforts you are making, even if you’re not “hitting it out of the ballpark.” Give others a break as well, recognizing that they may be trying to overcome “disabilities” that you don’t even know exist in their lives.

Above all, recognize God’s complete love and delight in you. He knows you well and is never surprised by your achievements or failures. He sees you just as you are and cherishes you. Each time you “get up to bat,” He has a big smile on his face and is cheering for you. Keep this vision of God in your head and allow yourself to bask in the warmth of God’s love. He is your biggest fan!

It’s okay to take a nap!

Every one of us needs a moment to refresh our soul. I’m thankful God showed me one more scripture that reminds me it is okay to rest.

Some days I just want the world to stop so I can catch my breath. Some days I just feel tired and want a moment of peace. I know God wants me to rest and take care of myself, but it also seems there is so much to do.

The story of Mary and Martha has been used often to remind us all of the importance of not allowing chores to distract us from an opportunity to sit at Jesus’ feet. Countless times, I have read the verse in Matthew 11:28 that says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest (NLT).” There are numerous books out there about how to embrace the concept of the Sabbath and God’s plan for finding true rest in our lives. All of these are wonderful reminders to me.

However, I think God must have realized his message was not getting through to my stubborn head, and I needed one more example to cling to.

In today’s sermon, we looked at the scripture in Mark 4: 35-41 where Jesus calms the storm. I have read this story so many times in my life, but today one verse stood out boldly to me. Verse 38 says, “Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion (NLT).”

Jesus took a nap in the middle of a huge storm!

I needed to hear that today. It seems the storms of life are often swirling around me, and it feels as if that must demand my constant attention. But it doesn’t. Even when we are in the midst of chaos and have a long list of “urgent” things to do, sometimes it is okay to take a break from it.

So today I took a nap. Yes, I had many things I should have or could have done. But I put them aside and rested, and later during the day I was able to more easily (and happily) conquer those tasks on my list.

I pray you, too, occasionally take a moment to take a nap and allow Jesus that sweet moment to refresh your soul!

Unburdened and Unstressed

It has been one month since I wrote my last post. Life has just been busy, nothing tragic, no huge life changes…simply a variety of unexpected events that have managed to turn my world topsy turvy for the last few weeks. Each week, as I looked at my To-Do list, I stared at the item that said, “write a blog post,” and my heart started beating fast. I was filled with guilt because I was not meeting an expectation I had created. I was overcome with anxiety because I didn’t know what to write. I was overwhelmed because I had no idea when or how I was going to get it done. There was simply too much to do and not enough time to do it. Here I was looking at what I considered a God-inspired mission, and I was feeling stressed about it.

Have you ever experienced a time like this, when you were burdened and anxious regarding something you knew should be quite the opposite?

Then I stopped! This is NOT what God has in mind for me (and it’s not what God has in mind for you either)! Our Lord is not a strict taskmaster. He does not desire for us to be anxious, overwhelmed, worried, or filled with shame. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. So one of two things is likely true in my situation if I feel those negative emotions–either what I am doing is NOT God’s will or how I am doing it isn’t.

I had to make myself pause in reflection and prayer and seek God’s direction…and I had to keep doing this multiple times throughout this month. What He kept whispering to me was, “Jennifer, give yourself a break.” For me, I believe it was the how that was the problem. I still felt God wanted me to continue doing this blog, but He kept reminding me that it is okay to take a break from it. It is okay to focus on other things at times. God wanted me to relax and enjoy and write when I was able. Over the last month, often after spending time with God, I would feel much better. I would lay this burden down at His feet and generally conclude that it was okay to postpone writing a post. In fact, He kept putting it on my heart that what He really wanted me to write about was just this–that we ALL need to give ourselves a break. Unfortunately, sometimes only days later, I would pick that burden right back up and start stressing again.

Years ago, in the book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, I read an illustration that compared this to putting rocks in our wagon. [Please forgive me if I am not exact here. I don’t have the book to quote or reread, so I am going by memory.] Often we put rocks in our wagon that God has never asked us to carry. We weigh ourselves down in ways He never intended.

It is so much easier to see this when I am looking at someone else’s life. I am much better at helping others take the figurative “rocks” out of their wagons than I am at discarding the unnecessary ones out of my own wagon. Here’s an example from this last month…

A friend (and a fellow unit leader with me in American Heritage Girls) texted and said that she might not be able to make it to our next meeting. She was not feeling well yet was worried that she would be leaving me in a bind if she was not there. Here is the exact text I sent her on February 28:

“So sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. No stressing about any of the AHG stuff. God has been really speaking to me, reminding me that He doesn’t want us overwhelmed or anxious in our service. Yes, He wants us to work and serve. But He also wants us to rest. So I’m making sure I am not letting Satan steal the joy of my service by making me stressed about it. So you just focus on feeling better!”

Friends, how is it that it was so easy to write that text to her, and yet I still struggled to apply it to my situation with writing this blog post? I WAS letting Satan steal my joy in doing this blog. I was turning something God meant for good into an undesirable chore.

I am certain you have similar things in your own life. We all have service, missions, and callings that occasionally become just glaring items on a To-Do list. We all sometimes become burdened by things that God only intended to bless us. We all, at some point, lose focus and allow ourselves to stress or worry over something that isn’t worth it.

Here is the main message that God has been giving me, and I want to pass it on to you…

God wants you rested, joyful, unburdened, and worry-free. (Maybe that won’t be true in every moment of life, but it should be true in general.) His desires and plans for you are good and pleasing. So if you find yourself feeling anything else, take a moment to seek Him. Ask Him to show you a better way. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Give yourself a break. And definitely look in your wagon and throw out some “rocks” that are weighing you down that you know God didn’t plan for you to carry.

Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT)

My prayer for you today is that you experience the unburdened joy that comes when you truly rest in Jesus!

A God Moment

A testimony of how God ministered to me in the midst of my pity party

Today’s blog post is a little different. I don’t have a specific topic or message in mind. I’m just going to share a moment from my week, giving you a testimony of how God has ministered to me tenderly and personally. My hope is that your faith and trust in our Lord are strengthened, and you realize you’re not alone in the mess and craziness of life.

To set the stage a bit, Tuesday morning, after getting out of bed and simply feeling depressed, I crawled back in bed and began to chat with my husband. Well, let’s be honest, I wasn’t just chatting. I was having a pity party. I rambled on and on about everything that was not going well. I remember saying, “I just wish one thing in my life could work really well!” Have you ever been there? It’s not a great place to be, but nevertheless, that was where I was on Tuesday morning.

Here are a few things that were the topic of my pity party rant…

My daughter’s reading skills – My sweet daughter struggles so much. I know this is mostly due to her genetic condition, but having a reason doesn’t make it easier to deal with. Since I homeschool her, it is easy to feel the weight of responsibility for her education and allow that to overwhelm me. Sometimes I can rise above and just take it one day at a time, but recently it has been hard to do that.
My weight – This is a constant battle for me. I am not terribly overweight, but I know I would feel so much better and be healthier if I could lose about 25 pounds. But all I want to do is shove food in my face. I feel like an animal about to hibernate for winter, wanting to store up as much food as I can! It’s terrible. I had been slowly losing until about Thanksgiving, and then I started gaining it back. Urgh. It just makes me irritated that I can’t have more self-control.
My house – Since the weather has been so yucky recently, I have been home even more than usual. Not much opportunity for field trips and park days when it’s rainy and cold. So I’m in my house a lot, and the walls are closing in on me. My house is tiny, and it’s crammed with stuff. As much as I try to organize and purge, I keep stepping over piles here and there. It feels as though I can never actually get it clean and tidy, which is very distracting to me when I am trying to get anything done.
My baking skills – A few days before, I spent hours baking small cakes for a girls’ cake decorating activity. They all were a crumbly mess and had to be completely redone. It’s so frustrating to not be able to do such a seemingly simple task. I felt like such a failure as a woman (even though I know that’s such a silly thing to think!)
My book – God has put it on my heart to write a book about all the joys and challenges of being a Sister in Christ. I started working on it in November, and I’m now on my fourth draft. It seems I keep recognizing things I need to change or improve. Recently, I have been trying to write my introduction, which is a huge struggle for me. Not only is writing NOT my natural gift (only a God-inspired calling), but I just have been at a loss for what to say and how to introduce the topic of my book. I am confident God wants me to write this book, but the words have not been coming.

Now, I realize that all of these things are insignificant compared to so many challenges and hardships others face (or even ones I have faced before). But the point of this post is not to show you the difficulties in my life, but rather how EVERYONE struggles…and how God showed up in the midst of my pity party!

First, my husband was so sweet. He just let me have my pity party with no judgment. He was supportive and encouraging, and he gave me a chance to talk out my frustrations. In doing that, I realized I needed to do something helpful and productive instead of going to eat some leftover cake, which is what I desperately wanted to do.

So, then I decided to go exercise. Now, this is not something I do regularly, though I know I should. I have an aversion to physical activity. But I knew that exercising would be a step in the right direction toward losing weight, and it would help improve my mood. So I got on my workout clothes, grabbed a bottle of water, did about 30 minutes of a workout video, and released some endorphins!

It was amazing how much just that one thing helped get me motivated for the day. I sat on the couch, ready for the next task. And I sat some more. And then I sat some more. You see, it’s great to have motivation, but you also have to a vision, discipline, courage, discernment, knowledge, and so many other qualities in order to tackle life’s challenges. I sat there still feeling overwhelmed. I had carved out the time to write in my book this day, but I was stumped. I had no words, no ideas, no inspiration. I realized what I desperately needed was to hear from the Lord.

I wasn’t sure what to read in my Bible, but I flipped through a journal that had the promises of God. One, in particular, caught my eye. “God will finish what he started” was the headline for the verse from Philippians 1:6. A few pages over, I read “God will supply for all our needs” as the title for Philippians 4:19. God seemed to be leading me to the book of Philippians.

I sat on my couch and listened to the whole book of Philippians all at once. [Side note: About a week ago, God put it on my heart that I needed to dedicate more time specifically to writing this book. He had called me to this task, yet I was just trying to squeeze it in when I could. I had not made it a priority. He inspired me to set aside this day for writing (and for Him), so I had already made sure I had several uninterrupted hours with no other goals for this time. This made it so much easier for me to spend the time reading a whole book of the Bible.] I sipped my coffee and listened, and God poured into my soul. It seemed like the whole book of Philippians was written just for me and just for this moment.

Image result for my god will meet all your needs

Here are a few of the parts that ministered to me…

1:6 – “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to the completion.” I KNOW God meant for me to write this book where I share my faith and inspire others to embrace their calling as Sisters in Christ. So God reminded me that HE will finish what HE started.

1:18 – “The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” I realized that my heart was in the right place, and I was trying to share Christ with the world through this book. If I don’t write it perfectly or use the right words or stories, it is ok. The point is that “Christ is preached.”

2:5-8 – This is a section that begins with “Have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” and ends with “he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death–even death on a cross.” A great reminder of how I, too, must be humble and obedient.

2:14 – “Do everything without grumbling or arguing…then you will shine among them like stars.” In light of the previous section of Christ humbling himself, all my sorrows pale in comparison to Christ’s suffering. As I continued to read, my heart more easily recognized how silly some of my concerns were. I just needed to stop moaning and complaining and do what I needed to do.

3:13 – “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Oh, how I need to leave the past in the past and forget any failures or missteps that might be causing me to lack courage. I must push onward toward the goal.

4:1 – “Stand firm in the Lord” and 4:6 – “Do not be anxious about anything.” More good encouragement!

4:8 – “Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” I must discipline my mind and take my thoughts captive. If I fill my mind with Christ, he will overflow from my heart into the words I write.

4:9 – “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice.” That sounds like the Lord is telling me to write down my testimony right now!

4:19 – “My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Wow! What more do I need to hear but this?

Of course, those are just the highlights! Philippians is filled with so many more powerful ideas. I can only say that after listening to this, I felt full. My anxiety was gone and replaced with a bold passion for sharing my faith through my writing. I got out my computer, started writing, and I had that troublesome introduction done after a few hours and several more revisions and edits completed by the end of the night! It was a surreal experience. God made it so clear to me how much I can trust Him to guide and help me when I am simply willing to be obedient to His leading.

A few days later, I read chapter 7 in the book Chase the Lion by Mark Batterson. This whole book is about pursuing God-sized dreams. This chapter focuses on how dreams like this don’t just happen easily; they require effort, diligence, a long obedience in the same direction, and a deep sense of stick-to-itiveness. He ends the chapter by saying, “If God has released you (from the dream)…you need to let it go. And don’t look back. If God hasn’t released you, don’t let go! You have to hang in there. And when it feels as though you can’t hold on any longer, remember Eleazar, whose hand literally froze to the sword (a reference to 2 Samuel 23:10).”

That spoke directly to me and my situation. It is easy to be in the middle of a God-inspired dream and believe you must have misheard God because it is NOT working out the way you think it should. And that is where I have been over the last few weeks regarding this book. But Tuesday, when God spoke to me through the book of Philippians and breathed words into me so easily and naturally, it was evident that God has NOT released me from this dream, this mission. I must hang on, even when it feels hard or pointless.

There are so many other simple ways that God ministered to me this week, but I think I’ll have to leave that for another post. My pity party is over. God has given me renewed hope, vision, purpose, and passion. I have not solved all the problems I listed above, but I have changed my perspective, and that makes such a difference. I am so thankful for the Lord and the sweet, personal ways that He loves each one of us.

I pray you can see the Lord’s tender mercies in your own life today!

Bringing Our Loaves and Fish to Jesus

Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by our responsibilities. The story of Jesus feeding the 5000 reminds us to offer what we have to Jesus, and allow him to work the miracles in our lives.

Today I just feel overwhelmed…overwhelmed by the weight of all my responsibilities, wondering if I’m doing all I need to do, questioning my choices, and concerned about the future. Some days I wake up and live in a more robot-like state, doing the day’s tasks without thinking too deeply about it, on autopilot. Usually, I can push down all those negative thoughts, stuffing them way back in my mind where I only vaguely notice them, so I am able to get through the day joyfully and peacefully. But this morning, my thoughts are racing, and I feel a heavy weight in my soul as I begin the day.

Personally, I am especially worried about my children today. Yesterday I gave my daughter a reading assessment, and it opened my eyes to the depth of her struggles. It’s not that I didn’t already know she has profound reading problems; she’s is about 5 years below grade level in her reading. But watching her take the assessment, I became more acutely aware of each type of challenge she faces. She probably has dyslexia and may have some hearing issues. And this is just the beginning. My 2 special needs kids have so many difficulties I can’t begin to list them. When some parents are worried about whether or not their kids will get into college, I’m wondering if mine will ever be able to live independently, have a job, or drive a car. All of this weighs heavily on my heart, and I feel such a huge responsibility in trying to address all these challenges.

Of course, the point of this post is not for me to describe all my specific problems. The point is that we all have things like this that overwhelm us…financial strains, health problems, emotional struggles, and so forth. It is easy to look at whatever lies in front of us and feel ill-equipped, inadequate, and completely incapable of tackling the situation. We need miracles, and we know we can’t perform miracles…at least not on our own.

When I feel this way, I try to stop myself and listen to the voice of Jesus. I hear him gently comfort me and whisper encouragement in my ear. And I recall the story of him feeding the 5000. In Matthew 14:13-21, Jesus tells his disciples to give the crowds something to eat. Yes, he did give them the responsibility of taking care of the people, just like he gives us responsibilities in our lives. He didn’t just say, I’ll do it all. Jesus does expect something of us and wants our active participation. But exactly what is our part? What does he expect of us?

The disciples respond by saying, “We have here only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish.” The disciples can’t offer much, but they bring what they have. They know what they have is meager and, frankly, doesn’t even come close to meeting the crowd’s food demands. But they bring it anyway. They offer what they have.

Then Jesus says, “Bring them here to me,” and he is the one that performs the miracle and feeds the 5000. This is what Jesus says to us, “Bring me what you have. I know how to use what you have to work miracles.”

How do I face today with so much weighing on my heart and such responsibility in front of me? I look around and find my “loaves and fishes.” One day it may be that all I have to offer is simply my willingness and enthusiasm. Another day it may be that I can find a specific task to accomplish. Personally, today I am going to research a specialized reading curriculum for my daughter. I can’t solve all her reading problems today, but I can do this one thing. Oftentimes our “loaves and fishes” seem so inadequate we almost feel ridiculous offering them up. I’m sure the disciples felt the same, offering only 5 loaves and 2 fish for 5000 people. But Jesus didn’t say, “Well, that won’t work. Throw those out, and I’ll cook up something great.” Instead, he told them to bring them to him. Jesus wants us to humbly offer what we have to him, actively doing our part and trusting him to do the rest.

Today, if you are feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath and rest in Jesus. Look around and see what “loaves and fish” you can offer to him. Don’t worry about whether it seems like enough. But believe in miracles and trust in God’s perfect power, plan, and provision. The Lord knows just what to do with what you have to offer!

Living in the Valley

Everyone experiences moments when they are weary of their current job or mission. What do you do to get out of that slump and find joy in the journey again?

Today I woke up and just had a case of the “don’ts.” I don’t want to do my job. I don’t see much progress. I don’t have a clear vision or purpose in my head. I don’t have much motivation to keep pushing forward. I just DON’T. I think everyone has this problem sometimes. The ministry or job or mission we once were excited about has now become a chore, drudgery, unfulfilling, overwhelming, exhausting, or altogether NOT exciting. I call this place “the valley.” The wonderful honeymoon period is over, and now it’s just work. Umph! Everyone will experience being in the valley at some moment in life. Maybe it will just last a day; maybe it will last years.

So what do you do to survive when you’re there? And how do you claw your way out of the valley to once again find that mountaintop enthusiasm? I don’t have all the answers, but I do have plenty of experience living in this valley place. So I will share with you what I do when I am living in the valley.

Recognize Satan’s desire for you to be wandering around in the valley. The first thing I have to do is open my eyes to Satan’s attacks on me and the mission God has called me to. The Enemy wants me disillusioned, frustrated, and unmotivated. As soon as I become aware that my diminished excitement might be used by the Enemy, it heightens my desire to get up and fight and put my armor on. Sometimes just the visual in my head of Satan smiling at my current attitude is enough to get me up and working again.
Change your perspective. Try looking at the long-term goal instead of the short term. You might not be seeing immediate results in what you are doing, but you can recognize that your efforts will pay off in the end. For example, maybe you haven’t lost a lot of weight this week, but maybe you are making life-long healthy habits that will benefit you for years. Or maybe you need just the opposite–to look only at the short-term instead of the long-term. Sometimes for me, I’m so caught up in the long-term lofty goals that I become overwhelmed. So I will just focus on the very short-term. What do I need to do today? I will stop worrying about all that lies ahead and just take the next step. Or maybe you need to redefine what success looks like in your current situation. It’s possible you’re being too hard on yourself. Find the positives instead of focusing on the negatives. What is working? What part of your mission is satisfying? Just try to look at your situation with new eyes and see if a small perspective shift can offer you big encouragement.
Pray specifically about your situation. Ask God to give you a clear vision, wisdom for what to do next, or renewed enthusiasm. Ask Him to let you know if this mission is still where he wants you or if He is calling you to something different. Sometimes we are in the valley because we actually are off course. Maybe we are not where God wants us to be, and He is trying to get our attention to guide us on another path. Don’t just pray general prayers. Be bold and be specific. God is a miracle-worker. Have faith that He can and will do big things in your life. And pray often. Have an on-going conversation with Him, and eventually, you will hear Him loud and clear.
Talk to your brothers and sisters in Christ. God has given us others to help speak wisdom into our lives. Sometimes it just takes talking out your struggles and worries with someone else to move out of the valley. However, I caution you to always check your friend’s wisdom against God’s Word. Don’t allow worldly views to overshadow God’s Truth. But the wise counsel of friends can be a huge help and encouragement whenever you are floundering.
Listen to some good praise and worship music. God designed us to respond to music. It is very therapeutic and can sometimes be just the thing you need to flip the switch from being depressed and frustrated to energetic and optimistic. So find some songs that minister to your soul, and sing out loudly to praise the Lord.
Take a small break to step back from it all. It is ok to stop and do something else. Maybe take a day off of work. Go for a walk. Take a bubble bath. Many times we believe that we must push through our difficulties and forge ahead. But actually, there are times when the opposite is needed. Sometimes it is best to just stop everything. Even Jesus took time to escape his own duties to have time alone and seek the Lord. So it is ok for you to take a moment to refresh your spirit and renew your vision.
Most importantly, lean into God. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Christians talk all the time about “abiding in Christ,” but what does that mean exactly? How do you do that when you are discouraged, confused, and weary? Here’s my suggestion–instead of thinking about inviting God into your life, recognize that He is already there. Right now, I’m sitting in my living room alone, thinking that I should wake up my kids to get started for the day but really, I just want to go back to sleep. So here is what I am doing to get myself back on track… I actually visualize Jesus sitting on the couch across from me, like a close friend has stopped by to visit. I imagine Him smiling at me, encouraging me, reminding me to take it just one moment at a time. In some ways, it’s easier to think about what a close friend might say to me (but really often, those close friends ARE the voice of Jesus). I let myself really feel His presence comforting me. I imagine what I think He would say to me at this moment. Sometimes it might be, “Go back to sleep, my daughter. You need some rest.” Other times it might be, “Come on. Get up. We have work to do TOGETHER.” This technique can be both convicting and motivating. Let’s be honest. When we are alone, we do lots of things we wouldn’t do if someone was watching. So (in a very non-condemning way), recognize that the Lord IS watching you. He IS present. That is both comforting and a bit terrifying. But sometimes we need a little of both to get us going–a friend but also some accountability.

The above suggestions are not a magic formula. They are simply various ideas that have helped me over the years. Remember, God is not surprised by your current emotional state. He knows you will be in the valley at some point, maybe even the desert (and He’s had plenty of experience with people in these lonely, unpleasant places). He knows that whatever mission He has called you to will require Him. He doesn’t want you independent. He wants you dependent on Him. So if you are feeling lost, wondering what in the world you are doing or why you are doing it, or are just weary on the journey, you are not alone. Being in the valley does not mean you lack faith or are doing something wrong; it is just a common stop on the path of life. My hope is that you won’t stay there long. But as you persevere in your valley moment, I pray that you find peace in the loving hands of the Almighty Father.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

The Idols in Our Lives

Do you allow anything other than God to pull at your heart, steer your path, or influence your actions? Are there certain people, dreams, or circumstances that distract you from God and His mission? Whether we realize it or not, idols can invade our lives in very subtle ways, promising to fulfill us and then eventually leaving us unsatisfied and discontent.

To be honest, when I was a newer Christian, and we discussed the Ten Commandments in Bible class or had a devotional about the idols in our lives, I kind of dismissed the topic, convinced I didn’t have any idols in my life. I would say to myself, “Of course, the Lord is the one true God and my only love. I would never put any other before Him. I would never worship another god.” I had the misconception that idols would be obvious in my life, such as a specific addiction, very apparent worship of something (other than God), or over-the-top obsession. I falsely believed that having an idol in your life was a conscious decision to put something else above God. How wrong I was!

Idols can be very sneaky. Without you knowing, they can pry their way into your heart very subtly, masquerading as something Godly. They can even begin as good intentions or God-inspired ideals and then become twisted and warped by our own fleshly nature.

1 John 5:21 says, “Dear Children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.” Wow! When you put it that way, I’m immediately convicted. Maybe I do have idols in my life, after all. What is it that has taken over God’s rightful place in my heart?

Is it my need for perfection? Do I put so much effort into being a “good” Christian that I let that guide my heart more than God? Some people fill their day with a list of To-Do items, desperately trying to satisfy an image they have in their head of what success means, even Godly success. Cooking perfect meals, planning engaging lessons, preparing awe-inspiring sermons or blog posts, creating beautifully wrapped care-packages for a neighbor–all these things are good and worthy causes. But are they your purpose or mission? Of course not; the purpose of these things is to minister to or bless others and share Christ through that ministry. If we lose sight of that and focus our thoughts on the product or result instead of the purpose, or if we spend so much time DOING this work that we don’t spend time ABIDING in Christ, then we have made those things our idols.

Is my idol my desire for validation and approval? Do I let other people’s opinions of me overshadow what God says is true? Do I allow others’ words to carry more weight in my heart than God’s Word? Maybe I am doing certain tasks just to get noticed instead of in obedience to God. I might avoid being bold about sharing my faith or go along with the crowd when I should be the voice of Jesus in a situation. Or I could simply allow my mind to be filled with others’ thoughts and ideas instead of with the Lord’s Truth. (I wrote a post a while back about false joy and how easily my world can crumble when I hear a harsh word from a friend or family, even if I fully disagree with what they have said and know they have an inaccurate perception of me.) Our need for acceptance can easily become an idol, causing us to dismiss the Spirit’s voice in our lives.

Could my idols be my children and my husband? Have I made my life so much about them that God has been pushed aside and is given only a small pittance of my time and energy? Maybe we give so much of ourselves to our families that we forget to give ourselves to the Lord. Yes, we all have responsibilities to serve our children and spouses. We have jobs and housework and mission work that we cannot just overlook. But caring for our homes, our families, and our friends should be a response to our relationship with Christ, not a substitute. We cannot look to our husbands and children to fill our needs. We should not care so much about pleasing them that we neglect other aspects of God’s calling in our lives. We must not put spending time with them above spending time with the Lord.

When I reflect on my life, I can see how these kinds of idols have crept into my mind and relationships during different seasons. There are moments I do a good job of pushing them out of my life almost completely. But if I am not careful, they will creep back in ever so slyly.

These idols in our lives, these things that try to replace God in our hearts–they find their way into our hearts because of our longings, our desires, our desperations for things that will fill the holes in our lives. But idols are FALSE gods. They aren’t the real thing, so they will never satisfy us, and they will never fully quench our thirst. Only God can do that. In fact, that’s a good way to discern an idol in your life–something you seek after and yet never satisfies your longing.

My house will never be clean enough. My kids will never be obedient enough. My marriage will never be fulfilling enough. My writing will never be good enough. My friendships will never be deep enough…

There is not ENOUGH in this world because God designed us for eternal desire. No other idol in our life will ever fill us, satisfy us, or complete us. There will only be one thing that is enough for us–our sweet Lord.

“For He satisfies the longing soul.” (Psalm 107:9)

May you spend your days seeking after the only one who will satisfy all the longings of your soul!