Tag: hope

A God Moment

A testimony of how God ministered to me in the midst of my pity party

Today’s blog post is a little different. I don’t have a specific topic or message in mind. I’m just going to share a moment from my week, giving you a testimony of how God has ministered to me tenderly and personally. My hope is that your faith and trust in our Lord are strengthened, and you realize you’re not alone in the mess and craziness of life.

To set the stage a bit, Tuesday morning, after getting out of bed and simply feeling depressed, I crawled back in bed and began to chat with my husband. Well, let’s be honest, I wasn’t just chatting. I was having a pity party. I rambled on and on about everything that was not going well. I remember saying, “I just wish one thing in my life could work really well!” Have you ever been there? It’s not a great place to be, but nevertheless, that was where I was on Tuesday morning.

Here are a few things that were the topic of my pity party rant…

  • My daughter’s reading skills – My sweet daughter struggles so much. I know this is mostly due to her genetic condition, but having a reason doesn’t make it easier to deal with. Since I homeschool her, it is easy to feel the weight of responsibility for her education and allow that to overwhelm me. Sometimes I can rise above and just take it one day at a time, but recently it has been hard to do that.
  • My weight – This is a constant battle for me. I am not terribly overweight, but I know I would feel so much better and be healthier if I could lose about 25 pounds. But all I want to do is shove food in my face. I feel like an animal about to hibernate for winter, wanting to store up as much food as I can! It’s terrible. I had been slowly losing until about Thanksgiving, and then I started gaining it back. Urgh. It just makes me irritated that I can’t have more self-control.
  • My house – Since the weather has been so yucky recently, I have been home even more than usual. Not much opportunity for field trips and park days when it’s rainy and cold. So I’m in my house a lot, and the walls are closing in on me. My house is tiny, and it’s crammed with stuff. As much as I try to organize and purge, I keep stepping over piles here and there. It feels as though I can never actually get it clean and tidy, which is very distracting to me when I am trying to get anything done.
  • My baking skills – A few days before, I spent hours baking small cakes for a girls’ cake decorating activity. They all were a crumbly mess and had to be completely redone. It’s so frustrating to not be able to do such a seemingly simple task. I felt like such a failure as a woman (even though I know that’s such a silly thing to think!)
  • My book – God has put it on my heart to write a book about all the joys and challenges of being a Sister in Christ. I started working on it in November, and I’m now on my fourth draft. It seems I keep recognizing things I need to change or improve. Recently, I have been trying to write my introduction, which is a huge struggle for me. Not only is writing NOT my natural gift (only a God-inspired calling), but I just have been at a loss for what to say and how to introduce the topic of my book. I am confident God wants me to write this book, but the words have not been coming.

Now, I realize that all of these things are insignificant compared to so many challenges and hardships others face (or even ones I have faced before). But the point of this post is not to show you the difficulties in my life, but rather how EVERYONE struggles…and how God showed up in the midst of my pity party!

First, my husband was so sweet. He just let me have my pity party with no judgment. He was supportive and encouraging, and he gave me a chance to talk out my frustrations. In doing that, I realized I needed to do something helpful and productive instead of going to eat some leftover cake, which is what I desperately wanted to do.

So, then I decided to go exercise. Now, this is not something I do regularly, though I know I should. I have an aversion to physical activity. But I knew that exercising would be a step in the right direction toward losing weight, and it would help improve my mood. So I got on my workout clothes, grabbed a bottle of water, did about 30 minutes of a workout video, and released some endorphins!

It was amazing how much just that one thing helped get me motivated for the day. I sat on the couch, ready for the next task. And I sat some more. And then I sat some more. You see, it’s great to have motivation, but you also have to a vision, discipline, courage, discernment, knowledge, and so many other qualities in order to tackle life’s challenges. I sat there still feeling overwhelmed. I had carved out the time to write in my book this day, but I was stumped. I had no words, no ideas, no inspiration. I realized what I desperately needed was to hear from the Lord.

I wasn’t sure what to read in my Bible, but I flipped through a journal that had the promises of God. One, in particular, caught my eye. “God will finish what he started” was the headline for the verse from Philippians 1:6. A few pages over, I read “God will supply for all our needs” as the title for Philippians 4:19. God seemed to be leading me to the book of Philippians.

I sat on my couch and listened to the whole book of Philippians all at once. [Side note: About a week ago, God put it on my heart that I needed to dedicate more time specifically to writing this book. He had called me to this task, yet I was just trying to squeeze it in when I could. I had not made it a priority. He inspired me to set aside this day for writing (and for Him), so I had already made sure I had several uninterrupted hours with no other goals for this time. This made it so much easier for me to spend the time reading a whole book of the Bible.] I sipped my coffee and listened, and God poured into my soul. It seemed like the whole book of Philippians was written just for me and just for this moment.

Image result for my god will meet all your needs

Here are a few of the parts that ministered to me…

1:6 – “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to the completion.” I KNOW God meant for me to write this book where I share my faith and inspire others to embrace their calling as Sisters in Christ. So God reminded me that HE will finish what HE started.

1:18 – “The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” I realized that my heart was in the right place, and I was trying to share Christ with the world through this book. If I don’t write it perfectly or use the right words or stories, it is ok. The point is that “Christ is preached.”

2:5-8 – This is a section that begins with “Have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” and ends with “he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death–even death on a cross.” A great reminder of how I, too, must be humble and obedient.

2:14 – “Do everything without grumbling or arguing…then you will shine among them like stars.” In light of the previous section of Christ humbling himself, all my sorrows pale in comparison to Christ’s suffering. As I continued to read, my heart more easily recognized how silly some of my concerns were. I just needed to stop moaning and complaining and do what I needed to do.

3:13 – “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Oh, how I need to leave the past in the past and forget any failures or missteps that might be causing me to lack courage. I must push onward toward the goal.

4:1 – “Stand firm in the Lord” and 4:6 – “Do not be anxious about anything.” More good encouragement!

4:8 – “Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” I must discipline my mind and take my thoughts captive. If I fill my mind with Christ, he will overflow from my heart into the words I write.

4:9 – “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice.” That sounds like the Lord is telling me to write down my testimony right now!

4:19 – “My God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Wow! What more do I need to hear but this?

Of course, those are just the highlights! Philippians is filled with so many more powerful ideas. I can only say that after listening to this, I felt full. My anxiety was gone and replaced with a bold passion for sharing my faith through my writing. I got out my computer, started writing, and I had that troublesome introduction done after a few hours and several more revisions and edits completed by the end of the night! It was a surreal experience. God made it so clear to me how much I can trust Him to guide and help me when I am simply willing to be obedient to His leading.  

A few days later, I read chapter 7 in the book Chase the Lion by Mark Batterson. This whole book is about pursuing God-sized dreams. This chapter focuses on how dreams like this don’t just happen easily; they require effort, diligence, a long obedience in the same direction, and a deep sense of stick-to-itiveness. He ends the chapter by saying, “If God has released you (from the dream)…you need to let it go. And don’t look back. If God hasn’t released you, don’t let go! You have to hang in there. And when it feels as though you can’t hold on any longer, remember Eleazar, whose hand literally froze to the sword (a reference to 2 Samuel 23:10).”

That spoke directly to me and my situation. It is easy to be in the middle of a God-inspired dream and believe you must have misheard God because it is NOT working out the way you think it should. And that is where I have been over the last few weeks regarding this book. But Tuesday, when God spoke to me through the book of Philippians and breathed words into me so easily and naturally, it was evident that God has NOT released me from this dream, this mission. I must hang on, even when it feels hard or pointless.

There are so many other simple ways that God ministered to me this week, but I think I’ll have to leave that for another post. My pity party is over. God has given me renewed hope, vision, purpose, and passion. I have not solved all the problems I listed above, but I have changed my perspective, and that makes such a difference. I am so thankful for the Lord and the sweet, personal ways that He loves each one of us.

I pray you can see the Lord’s tender mercies in your own life today!

Living in the Valley

Everyone experiences moments when they are weary of their current job or mission. What do you do to get out of that slump and find joy in the journey again?

Today I woke up and just had a case of the “don’ts.” I don’t want to do my job. I don’t see much progress. I don’t have a clear vision or purpose in my head. I don’t have much motivation to keep pushing forward. I just DON’T. I think everyone has this problem sometimes. The ministry or job or mission we once were excited about has now become a chore, drudgery, unfulfilling, overwhelming, exhausting, or altogether NOT exciting. I call this place “the valley.” The wonderful honeymoon period is over, and now it’s just work. Umph! Everyone will experience being in the valley at some moment in life. Maybe it will just last a day; maybe it will last years. 

So what do you do to survive when you’re there? And how do you claw your way out of the valley to once again find that mountaintop enthusiasm? I don’t have all the answers, but I do have plenty of experience living in this valley place. So I will share with you what I do when I am living in the valley.

  1. Recognize Satan’s desire for you to be wandering around in the valley. The first thing I have to do is open my eyes to Satan’s attacks on me and the mission God has called me to. The Enemy wants me disillusioned, frustrated, and unmotivated. As soon as I become aware that my diminished excitement might be used by the Enemy, it heightens my desire to get up and fight and put my armor on. Sometimes just the visual in my head of Satan smiling at my current attitude is enough to get me up and working again.
  2. Change your perspective. Try looking at the long-term goal instead of the short term. You might not be seeing immediate results in what you are doing, but you can recognize that your efforts will pay off in the end. For example, maybe you haven’t lost a lot of weight this week, but maybe you are making life-long healthy habits that will benefit you for years. Or maybe you need just the opposite–to look only at the short-term instead of the long-term. Sometimes for me, I’m so caught up in the long-term lofty goals that I become overwhelmed. So I will just focus on the very short-term. What do I need to do today? I will stop worrying about all that lies ahead and just take the next step.  Or maybe you need to redefine what success looks like in your current situation. It’s possible you’re being too hard on yourself. Find the positives instead of focusing on the negatives. What is working? What part of your mission is satisfying? Just try to look at your situation with new eyes and see if a small perspective shift can offer you big encouragement.
  3. Pray specifically about your situation. Ask God to give you a clear vision, wisdom for what to do next, or renewed enthusiasm. Ask Him to let you know if this mission is still where he wants you or if He is calling you to something different. Sometimes we are in the valley because we actually are off course. Maybe we are not where God wants us to be, and He is trying to get our attention to guide us on another path. Don’t just pray general prayers. Be bold and be specific. God is a miracle-worker. Have faith that He can and will do big things in your life. And pray often. Have an on-going conversation with Him, and eventually, you will hear Him loud and clear.
  4. Talk to your brothers and sisters in Christ. God has given us others to help speak wisdom into our lives. Sometimes it just takes talking out your struggles and worries with someone else to move out of the valley. However, I caution you to always check your friend’s wisdom against God’s Word. Don’t allow worldly views to overshadow God’s Truth. But the wise counsel of friends can be a huge help and encouragement whenever you are floundering. 
  5. Listen to some good praise and worship music. God designed us to respond to music. It is very therapeutic and can sometimes be just the thing you need to flip the switch from being depressed and frustrated to energetic and optimistic. So find some songs that minister to your soul, and sing out loudly to praise the Lord.
  6. Take a small break to step back from it all. It is ok to stop and do something else. Maybe take a day off of work. Go for a walk. Take a bubble bath. Many times we believe that we must push through our difficulties and forge ahead. But actually, there are times when the opposite is needed. Sometimes it is best to just stop everything. Even Jesus took time to escape his own duties to have time alone and seek the Lord. So it is ok for you to take a moment to refresh your spirit and renew your vision. 
  7. Most importantly, lean into God. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Christians talk all the time about “abiding in Christ,” but what does that mean exactly? How do you do that when you are discouraged, confused, and weary? Here’s my suggestion–instead of thinking about inviting God into your life, recognize that He is already there. Right now, I’m sitting in my living room alone, thinking that I should wake up my kids to get started for the day but really, I just want to go back to sleep. So here is what I am doing to get myself back on track… I actually visualize Jesus sitting on the couch across from me, like a close friend has stopped by to visit. I imagine Him smiling at me, encouraging me, reminding me to take it just one moment at a time. In some ways, it’s easier to think about what a close friend might say to me (but really often, those close friends ARE the voice of Jesus). I let myself really feel His presence comforting me. I imagine what I think He would say to me at this moment. Sometimes it might be, “Go back to sleep, my daughter. You need some rest.” Other times it might be, “Come on. Get up. We have work to do TOGETHER.” This technique can be both convicting and motivating. Let’s be honest. When we are alone, we do lots of things we wouldn’t do if someone was watching. So (in a very non-condemning way), recognize that the Lord IS watching you. He IS present. That is both comforting and a bit terrifying. But sometimes we need a little of both to get us going–a friend but also some accountability.

The above suggestions are not a magic formula. They are simply various ideas that have helped me over the years. Remember, God is not surprised by your current emotional state. He knows you will be in the valley at some point, maybe even the desert (and He’s had plenty of experience with people in these lonely, unpleasant places). He knows that whatever mission He has called you to will require Him. He doesn’t want you independent. He wants you dependent on Him. So if you are feeling lost, wondering what in the world you are doing or why you are doing it, or are just weary on the journey, you are not alone. Being in the valley does not mean you lack faith or are doing something wrong; it is just a common stop on the path of life. My hope is that you won’t stay there long. But as you persevere in your valley moment, I pray that you find peace in the loving hands of the Almighty Father.

 
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13