Sometimes I look back at my year and wonder what I have accomplished. What did I teach my children? Am I challenging them the way I should? Am I meeting their needs? I see all the other homeschool kids their age doing amazing things–winning sports recognitions, performing in the local theater, skipping grade levels–and my kids are just struggling to read and write and still can’t ride a bike.
You see, with their rare genetic condition, my 2 youngest are so delayed in all areas that learning even simple things is a struggle. When you have kids that just can’t seem to keep up, it is easy to get discouraged and doubt yourself. Sometimes it feels like we are moving and moving but never getting anywhere. When we are in that season, it is hard to keep my resolve and be motivated to continue in this homeschool journey. The Enemy uses these slow seasons to attack my will, confuse my vision, and squash my enthusiasm.
So what do I do to combat this? How do I keep moving forward even when it feels pointless? I try to look for those small moments of progress. I force myself to pay attention to the little things, and God always delights me with something beautiful.
My son, James, has severe communication difficulties, still struggling at the age of 13 to even speak in sentences or be understood by anyone not very familiar with his special language. We work every day on speech therapy, and many days I see no change. But then it will happen. I remember one day noticing how he used a pronoun for the first time, saying “yours mommy,” as we discussed going to visit my mom later that day. I remember the first time James expressed that he was scared about something. Never before had he been able to communicate emotion to me. I was so excited he could tell me his feelings I almost forgot to deal with his fear in the situation. I try to listen for these moments when James will say something new and that is when God ministers to my heart and says, “Keep going, my sweet daughter. You’re doing a good job. Just keep being faithful and I will work the miracle.”
Mark Twain said, “Comparison is the death of joy.” Isn’t that the truth! The only way I can keep my joy in this difficult journey is by keeping my eyes only on Christ, never comparing myself, my kids, or my life to others, but rather focusing on the path God has designed for us. Instead of looking at what is not happening or what my kids can’t do, I must be consistently seeking to find the little moments of progress and make those become big reasons to celebrate. Only then can I experience the joy God intends for me to have as I help my kids grow one moment at a time.
Growing By Surprise 