Thoughts as I read from Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and How God Calls Us to More by Sharon Hodde Miller (pg 41)…
“The thing that unmasks our joy and reveals its true quality is the hammering power of a storm…”
As I read this section, at first my chest puffed a bit with a little bit of pride–Hey, go me! I don’t demonstrate false joy! [The book gave a list of ways we might display false joy.] “Ever-cheerful face”–that’s not me. I actually let people see my sadness sometimes. Joy being dependent on our income–nope. I think I still am joyful even when we don’t have much money, because face it, we never have much money! Joy being dependent on our health–that’s not me. I’ve had skin cancer, endometriosis and ovarian cysts, terrible back pains, a hysterectomy at 38 and that didn’t steal my joy. I’m looking pretty good so far. Then I read that next sentence…”Storms expose exactly what our joy is standing on.”
I stopped and pondered this statement. I asked myself, “What causes my joy to crumble?”, and then God slapped me in the face with it. I could see exactly what my joy was standing on (and it wasn’t the solid rock of Jesus). You see, my joy is standing on very unstable ground–the daily feedback I get from my immediate family, especially my husband and oldest son. Nothing can steal my joy quicker than one of them expressing anger or disappointment in me. I can have a busy, hard, and exhausting day, filled with chaos and messiness and still be peaceful and joyful at the end of it. But a negative word from one of my family, and it’s all over. Until today, I never realized how much I allowed my family’s opinion of me to dictate my own feelings. And that realization shook me and humbled me.
“True joy is attractive and influential, not because of our stiff upper lip but because the fruit of the Spirit can flourish in any climate, sunshine or rain!” If my joy can be shaken so easily by a few unkind words from a hormonal teenager or a sleep-deprived husband, then what kind of joy is it really? As I’m continuing through this book and looking deeper at my “niceness”, I’m realizing that the whole point is in identifying the source and motivation of our beautiful qualities. Abiding in Jesus, getting my self-worth from God’s view of me, asking the Holy Spirit to guide every word and action, and getting strength from God’s power rather than my own abilities–that’s really what this is about. If I’m doing these things, the rest will fall into place.
My sister reminded me today, God wants us to bring our fish and loaves to him, as meager as they may be, and let Him work a miracle with it. May I always remember this truth…he doesn’t want me to offer them to the world but rather to Him. If I’m keeping that in mind, that everything I do is offered to God first and then to people, then the fruit that’s produced will never be false fruit. It will always be beautiful and genuine and life-giving.
Growing By Surprise 